Popular marriage advice says it’s not about both spouses giving 50%. Instead, each spouse should give 100%. And I think that’s great advice.

But the thing is, sometimes you don’t have 100% to give. Or at least your 100% looks like a lot less than normal.

And that’s okay.

There have been times in our 10 years of marriage where we’ve both been able to give 100% and it’s been awesome. Marriage is a lot of fun when we’re able to give unreservedly.

But there have also been times where one of us has had to pick up the slack for the other. When life intervened and 100% from both of us was just not possible. Physically (like when I was on bed rest). Spiritually. Emotionally.

And you know what? That’s been awesome too. Not in a fun sort of way. But in a, I-will-always-be-there-for-you-even-if-you-can’t-give-your-all sort of way.

It’s humbling watching your spouse pick up the slack. And it can be a pleasure to pick up the slack for your spouse. To remember this marriage thing isn’t about constant fairness but sacrificial giving.

Have they’re been times you and/or your spouse haven’t been able to give 100%.