11 Things I’ve Learned in 11 Years of Marriage
This past weekend, Dan and I celebrated 11 years of marriage. Here are 11 things I’ve learned in the last 11 years.
1. Marriage is Awesome
I can honestly say I love being married.
2. Marriage is Hard Work
Just because I love being married doesn’t mean we don’t have to work hard at it. We work hard. Sometimes very, very hard.
3. Shared Experiences Make for Deep Intimacy
There’s nothing more intimate than truly sharing your life with someone. Sharing our thoughts, feelings, tasks, events, problems, joys, struggles, bodies, chores, home and children has brought us closer than I ever thought possible.
4. Reflection is Important
It’s so easy to forget all we’ve shared. To ignore the intimacy by focusing on the urgent. When I’m finding myself consistently annoyed by my husband, reflecting on all we’ve been through together does wonders for my attitude.
5. My Husband is My Home
We’ve lived in in five different cities over the last 11 years. But no matter where we’ve lived, I’ve always felt at home when laying in bed next to my husband.
6. Kids Change Everything
And I mean everything. Staying connected gets harder. Finding time for each other can feel next to impossible. Yet it’s been amazing watching my husband become a father. Seeing him rough house, nurture, cuddle up and read with our kiddos makes me so proud to be married to such a great dad. And man. Doing this parenting thing alongside my best friend is such a gift.
7. Date Nights Don’t Just Happen
There will never be a perfect time to get alone as a couple. You’ve just gotta do it – even if it’s simply an in-home date night.
8. Our Needs are Different
And that’s okay. We should celebrate our differences, honor how God made us and work hard to provide for each others needs.
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10. Boring Husbands are the Best Husbands
Ann Voskamp wrote beautifully about this. I don’t need a knight in shining armor. Or a huge romantic. I need a man who will hold my hair back when I puke. Who will ignore his exhaustion and tackle the mundane tasks that must be accomplished. Who will love me through my flabby belly, stretch marks and bad moods. Thankfully, I’ve got quite an awesome boring husband.
11. I’ve Still Got Lots to Learn
Eleven years in and the more I know, the more I know I don’t know. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather learn beside than you, Dan.
How long have you been married? What have you learned?
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