When Happy Doesn’t Cut It
It’s 4:52AM. We’re not sleeping too well around here tonight. And I must admit that while the kiddos woke me up, the mothers won’t let me go back to sleep.
Because I know some of you are awake with me. Desperately aching for some sanity-saving sleep and experiencing so much guilt and confusion for feeling angry toward your little one for the constant deprivation. Wondering if motherhood is something you can handle.
And I know some of you are aching to simply hold your beautiful children who left you just this weekend, and you want to tell those of us who are sleepless to shut up and be grateful for our wonderful, living children.
And I know some of you are holding on desperately to those babies inside you. Praying and willing and hoping for heartbeats and growth.
And I know some you are wishing and hoping for any sign of life within your womb.
And I know some of you are feeling shame for your parenting – years after guilt has outdone its usefulness.
And I know some of you are desperately trying to get this parenting thing right, only to realize there’s really no such thing.
And I know some of you are nurturing children not nurtured inside you and handing them back when the time comes, praying to God Almighty for all that is out of your control.
Today, on Mother’s Day, when Happy simply doesn’t cut it, I want you to know that we see you. We know you’re there. And for today, maybe that’s all that can be said.