Marriage

2012 in Review

5 most read posts of 2012: It’s okay if you don’t enjoy every minute My greatest fear for my child An open letter to introverts in the church Will our kids want to come home? Some date night strategies for our not-so-perfect lives I’ve greatly enjoyed hanging out with you in 2012. See in you in 2013. Do you have any plans for ringing in the New Year? Photo...
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Faith

Going Home

Home as a concept is strange. As a feeling it’s even stranger. I get a home-like feeling when I look out across Lake Michigan. When I reach whatever parking spot or driveway I currently call mine. When I see signs for any city I’ve lived in. When I chase my daughter around the house. The daughter who will someday call somewhere else home. When I climb, exhausted beyond measure,...
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Marriage

Happy 30th

My earliest memories of you go back to junior high. They become clearer with red hatchbacks, burned oldie’s CDs and a few too many TPing excursions. Late nights talking, dreaming, writing papers, breathing through contractions and holding our baby girl are etched in stone. The tears shed. The faith wrestled. The arguments untangled. They have made us. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude at the thought of spending your next 30...
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Marriage

Intentionally Connect

It’s easy to neglect your spouse when you’ve gotten eight hours of sleep – in the last six days. And it’s all too common to hear stories about children coming and spouses drifting apart. It starts with no sleep, gets followed up with child-proofing, soccer games, swimming lessons, school plays, driver’s ed, SAT study sessions and finally a college or career send off. But if we don’t want to...
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Marriage

Purposing to Be Selfless in our Marriages

If you’re anything like me, selflessness doesn’t exactly come naturally. Sure, there are times a selfless act comes easily, but more often than not, we must purpose to be selfless. Because selflessness isn’t just the act, but the attitude. A “selfless” act followed with a “what will I get in return” attitude is still selfish. Of course, it may be more subtle than that. You might not think “you...
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Marriage

Some Date Night Strategies for Our Not-So-Perfect Lives

Last week I wrote about my temptation to wait for perfection before I start living life. Today I want to give some practical tips for having date nights with your spouse even if the ideal conditions don’t exist (i.e. free babysitting, copious amounts of free time, lots of gift certificates to your favorite restaurant, etc.). Create Some Boundaries Before your date night, discuss with your spouse what is off-limits...
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Marriage

Let’s Not Play Games

Imagine a world where everyone straightforwardly expressed their wants and needs, what hurt them and what made them happy. Or just imagine a world where everyone did this in their marriages. Instead of hiding behind sarcasm. Or being passive agressive. Or using the silent treatment. Or talking without being willing to listen. Or expecting our spouses to be mind readers? What if we stopped playing games, put the target...
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