Marriage

No One Thinks That Way

A few months into our marriage my husband and I were having an intense discussion (read: argument) and I blurted out, “no one thinks that way.” I just couldn’t fathom anyone taking his particular perspective on the topic. He quietly replied, “But I think that way.” And he. My husband. The one who thought that way. He was a someone. And yet it’s so easy to dismiss them, isn’t it?...
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Marriage

We Don’t Keep Score Here

I’m very competitive. Even as a kid, I wasn’t too fond of playing “just for the fun of it.” Games have a point. And the point is to win (and have fun blah, blah, blah). 🙂 Marriage has a point too. And it has nothing to do with winning. We don’t keep score here. It’s tempting sometimes, don’t get me wrong. And I write this as a reminder to...
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Marriage

The First Year of Marriage

My brother got married on Saturday and he’s been asking me to write more about marriage so I won’t consider this unsolicited advice. 🙂 You’re normal. If I could give any advice to newlyweds I’d tell them: you’re normal. I’ve heard many opinions about the first year of marriage. I’ve heard that it’s the honeymoon year and you won’t really “get it” until you’ve been married much longer. I’ve...
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Marriage

Looking out for the interest of others in our marriages

I know the advice columns say to put yourself first. That if you don’t take care of yourself then you are no good to anyone else. And I get that. But look at these verses: Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (Phil. 2:3-4, NASB) And...
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Marriage

Four things not to say to newlyweds

1. So, how’s married life? Whenever I got asked this question, I always wanted to say, “Terribly. It’s going terribly” just to see how people would respond. I never got that brave. Usually, I just smiled and said it was going well. When feeling particularly snarky I would respond, “Fine and how’s your married life?” I’m sure this question usually comes from a place of sincere desire to find...
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Marriage

Needs, Guilt and Letting Go

  My husband needs a lot of sleep. Quite a bit more than I do. This annoys me. A lot. I always knew Dan functioned better on more sleep than I did, but I didn’t realize how different we were until we had a baby. After the first night, he rarely even stirred when she cried. And if I tried to wake him up to change a diaper it required...
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